FIGHTMONKEY.INFO PREVIEW STORY: BIG MEDIA NOT FIGHTING URGE TO HOLD ONTO BALLOON BOY STORY AS LONG AS POSSIBLE

Posted on | October 21, 2009 | No Comments

Fight News Unlimited will be unveiling a new humor site soon dedicated to a fighting slant but made up entirely of humor and satire. Like many who were caught up in watching the Heene family spaceship the day the “Baloon Boy” saga was born, I found myself glued to the TV waiting to see what would happen next. I thought a good piece to announce Fightmonkey.info’s pending arrival would be a profile of the media’s frailty and inability to fight the urge to make the whole 2-time Wife Swapper Heene family reality TV stars once again. These folks now have exposure on just about every channel with a news team despite the whole incident being a suspected hoax.

From the moment the balloon left the ground, the press salivated over the whole thing, even after it became apparent there was no boy in that balloon at all. Every channel seemed to be broadcasting this aluminum-foil weather balloon like Astro-boy was gonna pop out once it landed. Falcon Heene was nowhere to be found until he allegedly walked into the family living room like nothing ever happened. He’d been in the attic of the damn garage the whole time, we were told. Now, because the whole fam damily made the interview rounds on all the big stations and got the spotlight back, their fame has hit the stratosphere. Even though it’s more of a notorious fame than a “hey, I’d love to meet those folks” fame, the train wreck goes on.

It’s time to fight back for the media and boycott all stations who profile the Heene family for more than five minutes a day of coverage. This stuff is getting really ridiculous. Now they’re digging into every piece of footage they can find with the Heene family in it. The old Wife Swap episodes are coming out of the woodwork. The worst Richard Heene moments are being revealed from those disasters. I watched one of them myself where he throws a drink in the new wife’s face. The guy is off the handle crazy. It’s clear he’s brainwashed the whole family into thinking they are alien offspring.

Let’s just make sure nobody gets the message from all this massive exposure that the Heene method of fame seeking is a proven winner. When the addiction to reality TV creates this kind of passion for the spotlight, maybe the fact that Wife Swap featured these folks twice is a little suspect, too. Some news clips I’ve seen now defend the show and say it’s helped some families. Clearly it’s made the Heene family get a horrible case of blue balls for the feeling of that free film set hookup.

At some point we have to force Falcon Heene and his whole batshit crazy family off the airwaves. We have to speak out for banishing “balloon boy” from all public discussion.

Don’t compound the problem, all you media moguls out there. Shut down the coverage. Call it a day. Stop beating this dead horse. If I have to watch little Falcon puke into a piece of Tupperware one more time as Daddy Heene never takes his eye off the camera for more than a few seconds, I think I might fight my TV. At what point do all you saps realize this family is playing you all like a fiddle and getting exactly what they want out of this?

The Heenes already won. Their criminal issues will go away. They’ll get a book deal, move the family ranch, and live in obscurity somewhere free to experiment with whatever geekery they feel the urge to perpetuate. But, who really gives a flying saucer what happens to these folks? I mean, really?

C’MON SHEEPLE, SNAP OUT OF IT! Let’s forget about the Heenes and fight the urge to keep watching the train wreck. Boycott stations that spend too long on the subject and change the channel whenever a story about the whole fiasco comes on.

Let’s fight the power of the media to peel the egg off its face by trying to convince us the aftermath is better than the actual hoax. Balloon Boy is Bunk, and if I have to print bumper stickers I will, but then again, that would only make the bugger more famous. This family’s fifteen minutes of fame was over long ago. Let’s remind the media to keep fighting the urge to give these reality TV addicts more of a fix.

It’s time for us to stand up for a more responsible media and urge news outlets to seek out more valuable stories. At this point, with the economy in such a precarious position and so many other pressing issues in the world, why are we spending so much time talking about this bunch of bozos anyway? There’s a long list of topics I’d rather hear about than the story of a deranged family hyped up on TV exposure and getting more than they can handle right now thanks to our gullible media conglomerates.

Isn’t there a WAR ON SOMEWHERE?

I don’t want to turn on CNN in three months and find out John Gosselin is fighting Richard Heene in a celebrity boxing event. This “Balloon Boy” saga is a demon baby spawned by reality TV. The fanatical urge of this mentally unbalanced group of people to get back on the airwaves is a really sad case of reality being stranger than fiction. Maybe we need to think about regulating this fledgling Reality TV industry at this point if this is the kind of end result we’re going to get out of it. We are quickly finding out that too much reality TV can ruin your life, kind of like being a child TV star has done to so many young actors. The Reality TV Genre may never die, but if we all don’t band together and boycott all this Balloon Boy BS, Falcon and his whole family might get another crack at it. Never has it been more important to let the media know you’re fed up.

Tell your local media outlets to cover the DOW, cover the latest car chase, cover the latest typhoon, earthquake or tornado. Cover anything but these ignorant junkies for fame who don’t deserve one second more in any spotlight but the one wielded by the authorities coming to arrest them.

Comments